Going to Where the Silence Is
by Fong Hoe Fang
[Title is taken from a quote by Amy Goodman, broadcast journalist, columnist, investigative reporter, author.]
The Child is the Father of the Man
My heart
leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.
My Heart
Leaps Up
William Wordsworth
Early Education
So started my education in Singapore schools in 1961. The trauma and humiliation of that incident must have stayed in my subconscious for years, because I remember being terribly angry each time I saw and thought that an unjust act had occurred. That incident taught me the injustice of unreasonable power. In a strange way, it also left me with a sense of reality that in our world, truth does not always lead to justice. Most times, justice is framed by power. And silence is our greatest enemy. I am still angry today every time I hear about any kind of injustice or unfairness, but that has been somewhat mellowed by age.
Seeds of Pioneers Club
Thus, we were opened to a new world of possibilities and knowledge as we travelled beyond our school texts into the wisdom and narratives of new ways of thinking. Almost intuitively, we brainstormed on various programmes and allocated tasks, facilitators and presenters. We immersed ourselves in the open reading of plays, poems and stories. I signed on as a member of the United States Information Services (USIS) library so that we could borrow books on plays and stories/novels which we could not find in the National Library. We challenged ourselves on historical and current issues, ranging from discussions on the ethics of dropping atom bombs to the implications for society after the microchip. Discussions sometimes took the form of debates. We organised trips to the old kampongs and their disappearing way of life and visited welfare homes set up for the disadvantaged and marginalised.
The sense of freedom and insight from those robust discussions and meetings gave us a sense of confidence which in turn birthed a youthful conviction that there was nothing we should not examine and work towards if we were so inclined. It was the arrogance of discovery, and not one of privilege or entitlement.
A True Teacher and Tough Gentleman
I will always remember Mr Lim as a true teacher and a tough gentleman. It will be hard for Singapore to find another son like him.
University Years
It was not so much material needs, but the poverty of voice which disturbed me. Why wasn’t anyone speaking up? Why wasn’t anyone listening? Why didn’t anyone seem to care? I learnt about systemic failures and broken social policies in real life. It was different from the discussions we had during the Pioneers Club days. This was real life being played out.
Breakthrough to Greater Social Awareness
After the first year of operation when Breakthrough had to renew its annual permit to print and publish, the then-Ministry of Culture asked us to “show cause” why our publication permit should be renewed. Greatly puzzled, Richard and I trooped into the office of the Ministry of Culture and were told that the magazine had been telling ‘half-truths’ and talking about the ‘seamy side of life’. One feature story – Poverty: the Hidden Dimension was referred to in particular. Astounded, I asked him to check the latest issue of the Singapore Yearbook of Statistics and said that I had obtained my numbers from their own publication. He went all silent, and I kept pushing the point. I think the poor officer who was probably more used to dealing with ‘yellow culture’ materials (Singapore was very strict on clamping down on ‘yellow culture’ then, and still does so now), did not know how to respond. Soon he said, “I am not here to argue with you. I am here to tell you to stop these stories”.
We slogged on, but because of financial considerations, we had to cut down on production costs, including printing with 2 colours instead of 4. We also cut back the number of printed copies as we had lost most of our distribution channels, and it was difficult to maintain direct sales every weekend on a voluntary basis.
Enter the Crisis Centre
Soon, we became a fixture on the scene, so much so that even the Police began to send cases to us. Our volunteers did shifts. Some would come for the night shift at about 8pm and stay the night till the next morning when they would leave for work at 8am. It was a pretty loose arrangement, but we never once ran out of volunteers to stay the night.
New Projects
One may find it strange that indie music and songs would be featured in a magazine on social awareness. For this, I must thank the Cheah brothers, Michael and Philip who brought the social views and sentiments of singers like David Bowie, John Lennon, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez and a host of Singapore indie singers into my consciousness (I was a total ignoramus in music before this). Around 1985, the Cheah brothers went on to publish an indie rock magazine BigO which became a major pop culture force in Singapore.
Interestingly, BigO faced its own problems, sometimes worst, with their publication permit and its renewal. And the fear amongst printers to produce the magazine was so high that it’s almost laughable. I remember a cover design which had a tiny image of a lady in a skimpy outfit that would probably be completely outdone by the dressing we normally see today. That image was only the size of a postage stamp, but the printer implied that he wanted a banker’s guarantee from the publisher before he would print that issue. He finally settled for a letter from the publisher which exonerated him if action was taken by the authorities.
Breakthrough Breaks down
It was also around this time that I had decided to get married to the love of my life, Wai Han. With so much happening and part of the editorial team gone, we decided to close Breakthrough to have personal time to recuperate, reflect and recover. We just did not have the heart to rebuild with new volunteers who were in the wings. But the Crisis Centre continued because a different group of volunteers were running that show and they had not been affected by the storm.
Tango with Geylang Catholic Centre
It was a time when we felt we had honest engagement with the government authorities. It was a time when we felt united in one cause despite the robust disagreements we sometimes had even between ourselves.
The Beginning of the End
- That We May Dream Again, Ethos Books, 2009, 2012
- Beyond the Blue Gate. Recollections of a Political Prisoner, Function 8 Ltd, 2010
- Smokescreens and Mirrors: Tracing the Marxist Conspiracy, Function 8 Ltd, 2012
- Priest in Geylang, Ethos Books, 2015
- 1987: Singapore’s Marxist Conspiracy 30 Years On, Function 8 Ltd, 2018
But this time, I am speaking.
s/pores 
Great work Hoe Fang!
Would like to read more materials from you.
Thanks